I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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