Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
