I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize