No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
