Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
