when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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