You're completely useless in the revolution.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just found puke in my bra..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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