member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He kissed a someone with a penis
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
