This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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