I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
