suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize