Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
