mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
