saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
