She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize