If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
