he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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