i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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