Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
