I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
