Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
