I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
