I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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