thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
