Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
