It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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