You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
