Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
