i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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