I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
