Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
