I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize