12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
