u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
