Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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