Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
