Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
