dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
