It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize