me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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