i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
