Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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