I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize