loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This house was built for laser tag.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
