Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
