hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
