i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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