Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
