My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
