lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
