guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Then you guys just all showered together...?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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