I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
