return my video game
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
