I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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