Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
