it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
