woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize