I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
