Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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