So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
