Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
