apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
