Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize