I am puke
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
