Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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