We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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