The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
