The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
