Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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