butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
