I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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