I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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