No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
